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| 33 Weeks! |
Pregnancy Updates
I feel so big! Tessa has been moving around a lot, but as far as I can tell she still hasn't moved into the correct position. If she has, I don't think she's stayed there. If she has that much room to wiggle around though, I don't think she's stuck in a breech position.
My joints get sore very quickly, especially in my hips. Even if I didn't have to get up during the night to go to the bathroom, I think the soreness would still wake me up. Usually all I have to do is walk around the house for a few minutes to stretch everything out, and I am able to go back to sleep unless Baby Girl decides it's her turn to move.
It's gotten harder in the last week to eat regular-sized meals. I guess it's because there isn't much room around my stomach! When I eat what I consider to be a normal amount of food, I become useless for the next couple of hours because I can't move. Eating smaller meals more often might be the way to go for me at this point. That's what all of the pregnancy books and websites recommend anyway.
A Few Thoughts
The first baby shower (hosted by my mom) took place on Sunday and it was wonderful! So many friends came that I am not able to see regularly anymore, and they gave such beautiful and generous gifts. We drove home with a full car and even fuller hearts. The shower was held at the church where G and I got married, which is also where we buried Adelyn, so the event had a special sacredness to it. The last time we gathered there with friends and family was for Addie's memorial service, so it was a real joy to be there again for happier reasons. We visited Addie's grave before we left, and it seemed strange to be looking down at the place where the tiny body of our firstborn was laid to rest while being so very pregnant with her little sister. We want to bring Tessa to the gravesite someday.
My OB appointment went well on Thursday. She said I had lost a little weight, but she wasn't concerned about it because Tessa's most recent ultrasound measurements were normal. Personally, I don't put much stock in how much weight is gained or lost anyway. So many little things can effect scale readings, from the clothes and shoes I wear to how much I ate before my appointment. I occasionally weigh myself at home, and there has been a steady increase since I gained back the weight I lost during the first trimester. Weight always fluctuates day to day even during pregnancy, so I'm not a bit worried. I decided a long time ago not to worry about my weight anyway. Life is too short for that nonsense!
During the appointment we discussed the latest date I could schedule a cesarean if the cerclage has to stay in, which is what will happen if Tessa doesn't turn. She suspects that if I go into labor with the stitches still in that things will start happening very quickly, and she wants to do whatever is necessary to keep me from tearing. However, she did say that the latest she would want to wait is 39 weeks - both because of the danger of sudden and quick labor and because she will apparently be on vacation the week before my due date. I'm okay with scheduling a cesarean at 39 weeks (for reasons I'll share shortly), but I won't do it just to make my doctor's vacation convenient. This little baby is my priority! However, I do share her concerns about things happening very suddenly if I were to go into labor with the cerclage still intact. Regardless of whether or not I have it removed at 36 weeks, I will stop taking progesterone. If I could keep taking it beyond that date, I would be perfectly fine. I think that the progesterone, based on the shortening that took place during the week when I switched medication, has played a very important part in keeping premature labor at bay. The problem is that I don't think I am supposed to continue taking it beyond 36 weeks. If I stop taking it and still have the stitches, I'm concerned that I will go into labor in the week that follows. This could cause my cervix to tear and risk a breech birth if things progress too quickly, resulting in a much earlier C-section. Fortunately, both my OB and perinatologist are very optimistic about Tessa's state of health if she does come early.
I'm really having to let go of my need to control this situation and trust God. It's so difficult, even though I know He has everything in His hands and that His plan is the best one. As strange as it sounds, the Lord has been showing me that I've made an idol out of having a natural, unmedicated birth. What's even more ridiculous is that I've been believing in my mind that a natural, unmedicated birth will somehow bring more glory to God than if I were to have a C-section. That's crazy, and I can't know that anyway! Whatever happens - good or bad, ideal or not, God allows to happen because He will be most glorified. It's not like God's sitting up there on the edge of His throne, biting His nails and thinking, "Gosh, I hope she doesn't have to have a cesarean, because then I won't get as much glory!" Like I said, crazy. Do you ever have moments where you weren't fully aware of something in your heart or life until you read your own writing? Yeah, that just happened to me right this second. What
Anyway, a sweet friend from our LifeGroups hosted the second baby shower today. I had such an amazing time! Her attention to detail was obvious, and the time and effort she put into making it special for me was humbling. The environment was peaceful, comfortable, and fun, and I had plenty of time to catch up with other ladies from church. I was struck again by the kindness and generosity of the amazing friends the Lord has brought into my life. It's hard to believe that there is only one more shower before our little girl gets here!
Things are falling into place quickly now. We're finally in our room (and have been since Memorial Day Weekend), our closet finished and in use, Tessa's room has been painted, we've finished our birthing classes, and the hospital back is packed (though I will probably unpack and repack it again several more times). Soon, Tessa Finley!
"For the Lord is good, and His love is eternal; His faithfulness endures through all generations." -Psalm 100:5
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