Even after four years, I still miss her. And there's a part of my heart that wishes things had been different. Then I look at my life now and think of all the things that wouldn't have happened if Adelyn had lived:
- The experience of strongly feeling the presence of God and hearing His voice in the midst of a crisis.
- The increased faith in the goodness of God and His sovereign plan.
- The ability to empathize with others who have lost babies or older children.
- The great privilege of getting to comfort and encourage them in their pain.
- The honor of pointing others to Christ through our pain.
- The laying down of idols in my heart.
- Becoming closer with the members of my family.
- Training to become Stephen Ministers who walk alongside other Christians through difficult times.
- A deeper longing for Heaven.
And these are just a few. I can't even fathom the ways that God has already worked through Addie's story, or the ways that He will work in the future, and I can say without hesitation that it has been absolutely worth all of the pain. So today, like every year at this time, I am remembering and grieving and rejoicing and thanking God for all that He's done. And I'm hugging my two girls a little more tightly.
Speaking of two girls, I never did an update about Ella! Here's a brief overview of her story (and I will try and get a more detailed post up as soon as possible):
I went into labor with Ella at 38 weeks, three days. She came just before 5pm, via natural birth (though I did get some pain medicine during transition BECAUSE TRANSITION). She was exactly a pound heavier than Tessa at 6lbs, 11oz, and she was exactly two inches longer than Tessa at 19 1/2". The first couple of months were really difficult, going from one child in the home to two. I couldn't just sleep in when Ella was sleeping because there was another little girl to take care of, so I dealt with some major sleep deprivation! Also, nursing was very painful and challenging this time around (thankfully those issues were resolved). But after the two month mark, things started to get a lot better and we began to get more sleep. Ella sleeps through the night now, and started crawling at just over six months! No doubt she is trying to keep up with her big sister, whom she adores! It's so sweet to watch them interact.
|The three of us in the hospital.|
|1 week old, and super unhappy about having her picture taken!|
I did get pictures for the second and fourth months, but haven't put all of them together in an album yet.
Life with two is very different than life with one, but I love it! Thanks for all your prayers! God is so good to us.