Second Pregnancy Update: 31 Weeks

31 Weeks and wearing a shirt that says "Feed Me
And Tell Me I'm Pretty," which is pretty much
relevant for my life regardless of pregnancy.

We're one week away from another important milestone (reaching 32 weeks) in the pregnancy!

Pregnancy Symptoms
My abdominal muscles are consistently uncomfortable now. Tessa is getting bigger every day, and I already feel like I'm out of room in there! Her frequent movements are often accompanied by pain or discomfort in my ligaments, and her position at any moment determines how easily I am able to get around. Though I haven't noticed much swelling yet, my feet are pretty sore in the evenings regardless of my activity level that day.

Occasionally Tessa will move a certain way and I will feel a sharp pain deep in my right hip. It only lasts for a second and it doesn't travel down my leg, so I don't think it's sciatic nerve pain. However she's certainly pressing on some nerve when that happens! I've found that the best thing for me to do is switch sides while I'm sleeping or sitting. That usually resolves the problem. I've also experienced more pain in my hips at night. Sometimes I wake up because my hips feel so sore, and if both hips hurt at the same time I have to stretch out the muscles before I can get comfortable again. The pain isn't unbearable though, so aside from being inconvenient it hasn't really caused any problems.

A Few Thoughts
Thursday's appointment with my OB went very well. I shared what the perinatologist told us last week, and we spent a few minutes looking over a copy of my birth plan that I brought with me. She's going to be out of town on vacation until June 7th, and she jokingly said I'm "not allowed" to go into labor while she's gone. She urged me not to do anything (no exercise, avoiding strenuous activities, and not doing anything "crazy") until she gets back. So I'm going to stay home and take it easy as much as possible over the next couple of weeks in the hopes that nothing will trigger labor or put unnecessary strain on my cervix.

I see the perinatologist again on June 4th, and I'm hoping there we will find little or no change in the cervix since my last appointment. Baby showers are starting very soon and as long as I'm not put on bed rest, I should be able to attend all of them. How crazy is it that May is almost over and June is about to be here? Regardless of whether she comes early, on time, or late, we'll be meeting our Tessa very soon!

"The Lord values those who fear Him, those who put their hope in His faithful love." -Psalm 147:11

Second Pregnancy Update: 30 Weeks

30 Weeks!

I'm 30 weeks and two days today, and time is flying by! I meant to post this update on Saturday, but the weekend was busy so I didn't get to it until today.

Pregnancy Symptoms

Although the new type of progesterone makes me sleepy, it's actually been very convenient. The medicine I took in the first trimester would knock me out for a few hours, and then I would be wide awake for several hours in the middle of the night. This medicine did that the first night, but since then I have slept very well. I still wake up once or twice, but I have no problems going back to sleep again and I usually feel very rested the next morning.

Early in the pregnancy, I noticed my tongue was starting to look abnormal. Because I drink a lot of hot tea and enjoy soup all year around, I assumed for a long time that I just kept burning my mouth (yes, I'm that clumsy). Acidic foods would aggravate it and make it more painful, and there were pink and white patchy spots scattered on the surface. It wasn't until recently that I realized it might be related to pregnancy hormones or a new allergy. After doing some research, I discovered that what I am experiencing is called "geographic tongue." It can be a sign of dehydration or a food allergy, so I began drinking more water and paying attention to whether or not certain foods made it worse. It wasn't until I switched to my new progesterone that it got noticeably better. After a few days the geographic tongue came back, so I'm pretty sure it's a mild reaction to the progesterone. If I'm correct, then the issue should quickly correct itself when I come off of the medication. We'll see!

A Few Thoughts

We found out from my perinatologist on Thursday that my cervix has shortened in the two weeks since my previous appointment. It wasn't really bad news, but it wasn't ideal either. Because of what happened last time with Addie, he wasn't really too surprised. The good news is that the cervix is still firm and there is no stress on the stitches, but there is some concern that I could go into premature labor before the cerclage comes out. He told us that because the cervix has shortened, he will be removing the stitches at 36 weeks. It's crazy to think that I only have six more weeks with the cerclage. That's not a long time; and though it may not happen, I could go into labor with Tessa the same day or shortly after it's removed! Our baby girl could be joining us very soon! The perinatologist told us that if I go into labor in the next few weeks, then the objective will be to stop the labor. G and I are praying that she waits just a little bit longer before she tries to join us. Just six more weeks, Baby Girl!

The ultrasound technician at the perinatal appointment revealed that Tessa is (still or once again) breech. Even my OB thought she was [mostly] head down, and I think she was, but she's reverted to her former position. This was discouraging news for me because I really want to avoid having a C-section. If I arrive at 36 weeks and she is still breech, the perinatologist won't remove the cerclage. At that point, I'm sure discussions about cesareans will begin. Because she moves so much, I'm still hopeful that she can and will get into the correct position (and stay there) over the next few weeks. In the meantime, I'm continuing to do my birthing class exercises as much as possible to help encourage her to move. 

New pictures!

Nose and lips (sideways).

Honestly, I was really discouraged after Thursday's appointment. It seems that I keep having to relearn the lesson about letting go of expectations and trusting God with whatever comes my way. My aunt reminded me on the phone last night that the worst already happened. Ending up with a C-section or drugs, while not what I would want, is no where near as big of a deal as losing your child. That already happened, and even if it were to happen again unexpectedly with Tessa, I know from experience that God will not leave us. He got us through the worst once, and He can - and would - do it again. Since I'm so far along now, it's not likely that history would repeat itself (unless she were born with a fatal condition that we weren't aware of). My aunt also wisely said that fear is often simply incorrect belief. The more I thought about that, the more profound that definition became. So in an attempt to correct my belief, here's some of my biggest fears regarding my pregnancy with Tessa:

• That I will go into labor before the cerclage is removed, my cervix would tear (and it would be extremely painful), and that it would be difficult or impossible to install a standard cerclage for any future pregnancies (which would mean a transabdominal cerclage - something I hope I never have to get).
• That Tessa will stay breech and I will have to have a C-section, resulting in drugs (that could harm Tessa or her development), a long and painful recovery, and issues from the surgery that can never be resolved (such as recurring back problems from the epidural, permanent tenderness or muscle weakness at the incision site, etc.).

What's the incorrect belief that all of these fears stem from? I think, on some level, I've been believing that my plan and the way I want things to go is better than whatever God's plan is, which could be (and often is) completely different. Reading that makes me see how silly that is. Sure, God's plan might be something I wouldn't have chosen but His plan is always better than ours, even if it doesn't seem like it at first. It's good to be reminded of what you already know every now and then. Why is it so easy to get focused on things that really aren't going to matter in light of eternity? It's funny how quickly we forget what is really important in life. 

I think that because I had no control over what happened with Addie, I've been subconsciously clinging to the things I feel like I should be able to control instead of living in the knowledge that God is the one who has all of the control. Even if everything I am afraid of ends up happening, that won't surprise God. His plan, whatever it is, will not be thwarted. And because He loves me, I can rest in the knowledge that He is working all things together for my good and His glory. Since His glory is what I want more than anything anyway (even when I get caught up in trivial things and forget), then that's enough for me.

"I waited patiently for the Lord, and He turned to me and heard my cry for help. He brought me up from a desolate pit, out of the muddy clay, and set my feet on a rock, making my steps secure. He put a new song in my mouth, a hymn of praise to our God. Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the Lord. How happy is the man who has put his trust in the Lord and has not turned to the proud or to those who run after lies! Lord my God, You have done many things- Your wonderful works and Your plans for us; none can compare with You. If I were to report and speak [of them], they are more than can be told." -Psalm 40:1-5

Second Pregnancy Update: 29 Weeks

29 Weeks!

This is my last week in the 20's!

Pregnancy Symptoms
Tessa's definitely gotten a lot stronger over the last week, because sometimes her movements can be a little bit painful. It's nothing major, but it hurts if she stretches underneath one of my round ligaments! Rather than one or two jabs or kicks, it often feels more like a flurry of movement as if she's break dancing or letting loose on a punching bag. I can also tell that she's growing, because my abdomen feels like it has no room whatsoever. If I sit down, lean forward, or roll over, it's very difficult because there's a baby in there that is blocking my movement. I don't mind it at all, but it does contribute to me feeling very large already (and if all goes well, I still have a little ways to go)!

Sleep has been a little better since my last update, though I've yet to have a night in which I didn't wake up and have to go to the bathroom. Fortunately, I've been able to go right back to sleep. There were one or two restless nights, but nothing significant aside from that. Tessa has had a lot of hiccups this week as well (often during the night), which is still really cute. Last night, not long after we had gone to bed, she moved in such a way that tickled me and made me laugh. You know you're ticklish when you can get tickled by your unborn baby. From the inside. Yep, that's me.

A Few Thoughts
The appointment with my OB went very well on Thursday. My glucose test results were normal, so I don't need any further testing for gestational diabetes. Thank you to everyone who prayed about this with us! I was really hoping that I wouldn't have to think about that any further, and now I don't. We discussed my reaction to the progesterone, and my OB suggested I call the perinatologist about it. I also asked about the process of having her approve my birth plan, and she said I could just print it out and bring it into a future appointment for her to look over and discuss with me. What my OB will approve when Tessa decides to arrive is largely dependent on whether or not I test positive for GBS (which I believe I will be tested for at 34 weeks), so we're hoping and praying that the test will come back negative.

I spoke with my perinatologist yesterday on the phone, and after hearing the details of my reaction he decided to discontinue the weekly progesterone shots and give me a different type of progesterone that I would need to take nightly instead. He doesn't believe that I will experience any negative reactions to it, and I'm sure we'll discuss it in detail at my appointment on Thursday. I should be able to pick up the new progesterone either today or Monday at the latest. It's not really a big deal, since I'll only have to take it for 6ish more weeks anyway.

Let me take a minute to say how impressed I have been with our insurance company. They have a free service for their pregnant customers that pairs them with a registered nurse who will call every few weeks to see how things are going with the pregnancy. Tracy, the nurse assigned to me, started calling sometime before I entered the second trimester. She told me that if I wasn't sure about something my OB said in my appointments or I wanted more clarification, she would be able to answer any questions I had. She also said that I would be able to use her as a sounding board for whatever I was thinking and feeling regarding the pregnancy, my doctors, or any medical procedures they might want to perform. Since my OB and perinatologist would be able to answer any of my questions and discuss any concerns I might have, I didn't think that I would need this service. To my surprise, Tracy's phone calls have been a huge help! She is very kind and understanding, and I never feel like she's rushing our conversations. I occasionally want a second opinion about things my OB has suggested, and she has proven to be invaluable in those moments. There were a few times that I disagreed with my OB about the necessity of certain procedures, and Tracy was able to give me resources that would guide me to the information I needed in order to make a wise decision. She has also affirmed my decisions after I've made up my mind and has encouraged me if I felt stressed or emotionally overwhelmed. I really feel like she listens to and understands my concerns, and that means the world to me. I thank God for Tracy, and for all of the other fantastic people He has brought my way during this time of my life!

Last week was a big milestone in this pregnancy, and the next milestone will be making it to 32 weeks. Hang in there, Baby Girl! Thank you again for all of your prayers!

"He is before all things, and by Him all things hold together." -Colossians 1:17

Second Pregnancy Update: 28 Weeks

28 weeks!

I'm now in the third trimester of this pregnancy! Thank you, Lord!

Pregnancy Symptoms

This has not been the best week for sleep! As soon as I climb into bed at night, I suddenly feel wide awake. Sometimes I won't go to sleep for hours, and if I do manage to drift off, I have to wake up at least three times to go to the bathroom during the night. It's just part of pregnancy (and I'm certainly not complaining, because I'm happy to be pregnant again), and I know I'll have some sleepless nights after our sweet girl is here. Tessa, by the way, had hiccups every night starting on Sunday through Wednesday. I don't think they contributed to my lack of sleep, because they wouldn't start until I got back in bed after a trip to the bathroom. But even if they did keep me awake, I don't mind. Little baby hiccups are really cute!

We had a busy day yesterday, and when the evening rolled around we realized I hadn't gotten my progesterone shot yet. Because it was already late in the evening and I need to move around a good bit afterward to keep from getting sore, we decided I could just get it today instead. We ate breakfast this morning and I made sure to exercise before getting the shot so that my muscles would be loose (to help make it less painful), then G gave me the injection. The shot wasn't painful at all (for once), but I felt my body react in a new way. My neck suddenly felt hot, and my throat went from feeling normal to a little itchy and congested. Shortly after that, I started having a coughing fit mid-injection and I couldn't stop myself.  G had to finish giving me the shot as quickly as he could because my coughing was causing the needle to move around a lot. A few minutes after G removed the needle, things started to slow down, and a half hour later I was fine again. I drank some water, which helped the itchy feeling in my throat, and before long all of the congestion was gone! I've certainly never had that reaction to anything before and after doing some research, I found out that a small percentage of people who take progesterone shots do experience coughing fits. Since I haven't had anything like that happen so far, I'll definitely be mentioning it to my OB at my appointment on Thursday. It may be that my body is fed up with all of the needles, or I could be developing some kind of mild allergy that may require me to switch to a different brand of medicine. Either way, I don't think it was a dangerous reaction (though it was initially a little concerning because it has never happened before).

A Few Thoughts

I can't believe there are only 8-9 weeks left until the cerclage comes out! My next appointment with the perinatologist is in a couple of weeks, and we'll probably get a firm date for the procedure pinned down at that time. There are only four weeks of birthing classes left, and then everything will revolve around getting the nursery ready and attending baby showers! As much as I love being pregnant, I'm so ready to cross the 36/37 week finish line. I could carry Tessa all the way until my due date or longer but after those weeks have passed it will be okay if she decides to come. We're so ready to have her with us (just not too soon), and hold her in our arms. I wonder all the time what that day will be like. Will we get to hear her little voice? Will she open her eyes and look at us? Will we see her move? We didn't have any of that with Addie because she was so early, so I don't know what our reaction will be if we get to enjoy those little miracles that often get taken for granted.

Recently, I asked G to pray about something that may sound a little strange to most people. I asked him to pray that my mind would focus on Tessa when it's time for her to be born. Don't get me wrong, I love Addie Jane so much; but as harsh as it sounds, she's not here anymore. Her time has already come and gone, and she's with the Lord now. We truly are at peace with that, and we're grateful for the time we were given with her. While I know she will be on my mind, and that I won't be able to help mentally comparing on some level my birth experience with Tessa to the one I had with Adelyn, I want that day to about Tessa. I want to be as present in those special moments (whether it ends well or not) as I can be. While I will forever hold dear my memories of Addie (yes, even the painful ones), I don't want them to overshadow the new memories we will have on the day of Tessa's birth. Hopefully those memories and experiences will be pleasant and happy (I'm believing they will be), but either way they won't replace the ones we have of Addie. Rather, they will be a reminder that the Lord has shown mercy to us and has not forsaken us in our troubles.

"Those who know Your name trust in You because You have not abandoned those who seek You, Lord." -Psalm 9:10

Second Pregnancy Update: 27 Weeks

27 Weeks!

Only one week left in the second trimester!

Pregnancy Symptoms
From Sunday to Wednesday, my round ligaments were really sore. I think getting adjusted at the chiropractor on Tuesday really helped, because the next day I didn't notice as much pain. The rest of the week was relatively pain-free, which was nice.

Last night, after I had done a bunch of exercises from my birthing class, I felt Tessa change positions. She was definitely straight instead of sideways now (and has been for most of the day), though I don't know if she's breech or head down. Based on some of the movements I've been feeling today, I suspect that she's no longer breech (or at least on her way to being in the right position). Even G said my stomach felt different, so he could tell that she'd moved as well. If she is in a good position, I hope she settles down and stays there!

A Few Thoughts
Tessa's chances of survival if she were to be born this week are about 90%! There was no change in the cervix at my perinatal appointment on Thursday, so I don't believe she'll be making an appearance any time soon. The perinatologist said that I will probably only see him one more time before he takes the cerclage out, which is crazy to think about! He should be taking it out at 36-37 weeks, and he said if Tessa were to be breech when it's time to remove the cerclage, then he will leave it in and we'll discuss scheduling a C-section. He doesn't anticipate needing to though, so I'm hoping she moves into a good position soon (and stays there until it's time for her to come). We also got some new photos!

The glucose test at the OB's office was not a big deal, and I'm really glad I took the jelly beans instead of the sickeningly-sweet drink. I was told that I won't get a phone call if everything looks good, so if I haven't heard anything by my next update, then I'm probably don't have gestational diabetes. My OB moved my visits to every two weeks instead of four, so it seems like we're racing toward the finish line of this pregnancy! There are some very minor things we need to research and make a decision about that will take place at the next appointment (nothing to be concerned about), and I'm really asking the Lord to give us wisdom.

It's weird for me to think that about how if I carry Tessa to the full 40 weeks, then I only have 13 weeks left! And if she comes shortly after the cerclage comes out, then there are only 9-10 weeks left! Things really seem to be flying by now, and baby shower season is almost here. I think once the showers are over, it will really start to sink in that it will almost be time to have her with us!