Second Pregnancy Update: 22 Weeks

22 Weeks!

Pregnancy Symptoms
Not much has changed since last week. I've noticed (but forgotten to mention) that I might have developed an allergy to bandage adhesive. For the last month or so, if I've used a bandage, my skin has looked very red and splotchy after it is removed. With waterproof bandages, any skin that touches the adhesive gets really dry and flaky. Regardless of what kind I use, it leaves an outline from the bandage on my skin for a very long time. I could be sensitive because of pregnancy hormones, or as a side-effect to the progesterone shots. Either way, it's not a big deal.

After I went to bed on Thursday, I spent most of the night tossing and turning because I couldn't find a comfortable position (which is now limited to two - left side and right - since I can no longer sleep directly on my stomach). Baby Girl moved like crazy all night too, so I guess neither of us could get comfortable!

Her movements are continuing to increase in frequency, and it seemed at various points this week that she was responding to my voice when I would talk to her. Until now, there hasn't been much of a noticeable difference in how much she moved when I would speak verses her movements when it was quiet (except for when G would talk - she already loves her daddy). Maybe she's starting to recognize voices now!

A Few Thoughts
This week has been a little bit unusual for me emotionally. I think some of it has to do with the next pregnancy checkpoint being 23 weeks, and all of the memories associated with it. One morning, I woke up thinking about Adelyn and everything that transpired with her. Since there was nothing pressing for me to see to, I chose to lay in bed for a while longer and remember. No matter how well you handle heartache or how much you trust the Lord, there will still be moments of pain and grief. I was sad for a little while. Then the sun came out, the birds started singing, and I remembered that the Lord had made a brand new day. God has felt very near this week, by the way, and I'm comforted by the knowledge that He understands when we're feeling (even when I don't) and cares about what happens to us. Though I know next week will probably zoom by and be over before I can blink, I'm still dreading it. This is just something I'll have to get used to, because every year on Addie's birthday, and with every 23rd week of any future pregnancy, her precious face will return to my mind and I will remember. It will probably be sad, and maybe sometimes it will be happy. I'm just so grateful that the Lord is right here with us; growing us, sustaining us, and moving us toward the next thing. I'm glad these aren't wasted experiences or tears, and that He's using them for good in ways we can't fathom.

"God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble." -Psalm 46:1

Last year after Addie went ahead of us to be with the Lord, my mother-in-law and I planted some tulips. She had given them to G for his birthday, and she rightly believed that doing some gardening would be therapeutic for both of us. God is certainly showing us He cares for us, because they bloomed this week. To me, they serve as a reminder that our hope is not in vain, and if we keep trusting and following Jesus, He will make something beautiful out of our struggle. 

"There is an occasion for everything, and a time for every activity under heaven: a time to give birth and a time to die; a time to plant and a time to uproot; a time to kill and a time to heal; a time to tear down and a time to build; a time to weep and a time to laugh; a time to mourn and a time to dance; a time to throw stones and a time to gather stones; a time to embrace and a time to avoid embracing; a time to search and a time to count as lost; a time to keep and a time to throw away; a time to tear and a time to sew; a time to be silent and a time to speak; a time to love and a time to hate; a time for war and a time for peace. What does the worker gain from his struggles? I have seen the task that God has given people to keep them occupied. He has made everything appropriate in its time. He has also put eternity in their hearts, but man cannot discover the work God has done from beginning to end. I know that there is nothing better for them than to rejoice and enjoy the good life. It is also the gift of God whenever anyone eats, drinks, and enjoys all his efforts. I know that all God does will last forever; there is no adding to it or taking from it. God works so that people will be in awe of Him." -Ecclesiastes 3:1-14 (emphasis mine)

My dear friends, there is a time to die.

But there is also a time to give birth.

There is a time to uproot.

But there is also a time to plant.

There is a time to kill.

But there is also a time to heal.

There is a time to tear down.

But there is also a time to build.

There is a time to weep.

But there is also a time to laugh.

There is a time to mourn.

But there is also a time to dance.

I pray that I never get so focused on the time to die, uproot, kill, tear down, weep, and mourn that I miss out on the time to give birth, plant, heal, build, laugh, and dance! Though I'm definitely no Old Testament prophet, something tells me we are emerging from the darkness into the light. 

"[Lord Elrond] 'I looked into your future and I saw death.' [Arwen] 'But there is also life!'" -J.R.R. Tolkien, The Return of the King

There's a strange sense of change in my spirit right now, and I think good things are in our future. They may not look like what we expect, but that won't change the fact that they are good, and for our good. Whatever God has in store for us and our families, I trust Him. God is still working, and we are in awe of Him.