Second Pregnancy Update: 21 Weeks

21 Weeks!

Different pregnancy symptoms have started to emerge over the last week!

Pregnancy Symptoms

The round ligament pain seems to have eased off temporarily, though it wouldn't surprise me if it came back before too long. It may be that some of the stretches I have to do in my birthing classes are helping that out. There is some occasional lower back pain, but that too could be related to some exercises that I'm doing for the class.

I've noticed that it's getting much harder to change sleeping positions at night, because my belly feels large and heavy! This will certainly increase the further along I get in the pregnancy, since my belly is just going to keep getting bigger. It hasn't been a problem so far, but it takes me way longer to roll from one side to the other than I am used to. At least I have lovely baby kicks to amuse me until I find a comfortable spot!

I also can't bend at the waist at all after eating a meal and if I stand up straight, I can't see my toes because my baby bump sticks out so far! That's not an issue for me though, because it means Baby Girl is still in there and still growing. From time to time, my belly will bump into something or press buttons accidentally. I have a feeling this will just become more common, too! Though it could be my imagination, I feel so much bigger at 21 weeks with this baby than at 23 weeks with Adelyn Jane!

One more thing that is different from last week is that my skin is starting to get very tight. I don't believe it's possible to prevent stretch marks (and that whether or not you get them is based on the natural elasticity of your skin), but I've been trying to keep plenty of homemade lotion on there so I don't get itchy. If I press my fingers into my abdomen, they don't really go anywhere, so it won't surprise me if I get some stretch marks in the coming weeks! Fortunately, the thought of my skin scarring from a growing baby bump doesn't upset me in the least. I see it as a medal of honor that marks my "mom status." When I was pregnant with Addie, I didn't get any because she was born too early. Rather than having the scars as a memory of my first pregnancy it was as if the entire thing hadn't happened at all, which was way worse to me than having scarred skin. Hopefully this time I'll get those beautiful belly marks to go along with the memories of this pregnancy!

A Few Thoughts

Wednesday was the 20 week anatomy scan. During that time, the technician carefully examined Baby Girl to check on her heart, brain, kidneys, and other important organs to make sure everything was working properly. They also checked for any physical abnormalities, took measurements (which I forgot to ask about), and checked the amniotic fluid levels. Everything looked great!

The appointment drew my thoughts to situations in which some babies are not healthy - or perhaps "typical". It seems to me that so many people are terrified by the possibility that their child could be born with a physical or mental handicap. Though I understand their desire for a healthy child, I believe those situations are nothing to be afraid of - or upset by if they should actually arise. Before I continue sharing my perspective, I'd like to say that I'm not talking about babies who are born with severe health problems that cause their lives to be cut short unexpectedly within hours of their births. Nor am I talking about the babies whose medical conditions cause them to be ill or in serious pain for most of their lives. These are all things to be concerned about. I'm merely referring to babies who are born with special needs or physical abnormalities. Here's what I believe about these (and all) children: they are uniquely created by God just like everyone else, and they have a vital role to play in His plans. Their significance in light of eternity isn't forfeited just because they are born different from others; in fact, I think God uses these special children in ways that other children cannot be used to accomplish His purpose. We see parts of God and His heart that we wouldn't normally get to see reflected in the faces and lives children with disabilities or handicaps. If God were to give me a child who was "different" for any reason, I would consider myself to be richly blessed. I've always thought that God calls and equips the parents of children with physical abnormalities or mental challenges in ways that He doesn't with other believers. He trusts them with much, and I believe that if they trust Him with what they have been given in return, He will use them and their wonderful children to impact the lives of others in powerful ways. The world is a better place with these children in it, I think it's abominable that unborn children who "might" end up dealing with one or more of these issues frequently have their lives cut short by parents who deceive themselves into believing they are being merciful by sparing them from hardship. I don't mean to rant, especially about things I haven't experienced and don't fully understand. But in my limited knowledge I am certain that, as Dr. Denmark championed in her lifetime, every child deserves a chance. God is loving, and He extends His grace to all of us because we have all fallen short and are in need of His forgiveness. If you are struggling with fear about your unborn child's health, let me encourage you and remind you that God is in control of all things. He sees your child's future, and if you trust Him - whether it ends well or not - that child will bless your life in ways you could never have imagined!

"Some people were even bringing infants to Him so He might touch them, but when the disciples saw it, they rebuked them. Jesus, however, invited them: 'Let the little children come to Me, and don't stop them, because the kingdom of God belongs to such as these. I assure you: Whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will never enter it.'" -Luke 18:15-17

If you're reading this, and you were born with some kind of physical or mental challenges, know that there is nothing wrong with you. Society may not see your worth, but you are priceless to the God who formed you in the womb personally and with great joy. Don't allow the enemy to discourage you into thinking you aren't enough, that there's something "wrong" with you, or that God cannot use you because of the ways you are different. You've been fearfully and wonderfully made by a Creator who knew you before you were formed (Psalm 139:13-16).

Two weeks from now, I'll be where I was in the pregnancy when Addie joined and left us. I'm not worried about that day at all, but I am curious about how it will effect me. Sometimes when you think something won't make you sad, it does; and sometimes it's the other way around. Based on how well my checkups have been going, I don't expect any problems to arise. I think that 23rd week will come and go quickly, and a few short weeks after that we'll be going in to have the cerclage removed. But even if things don't go as planned (which is always a possibility), I know that God is working all things together for good. Things don't always go the way we think they should, but God never abandons us. He is always good, even when our circumstances aren't.

Thank you, Lord!

"But as for me, God's presence is my good. I have made the Lord God my refuge, so I can tell about all You do." -Psalm 73:28

Second Pregnancy Update: 20 Weeks

20 weeks!

20 weeks, and no negative symptoms to report!

A Few Thoughts
It astounds me that I'm already half way (or possibly less, depending on when Baby Girl decides to come) through this pregnancy! It wasn't long ago that I was twenty weeks with Addie, and I'm only a few weeks away from entering new pregnancy territory (at least for me, since Addie came at 23 weeks). I'm expecting this to feel sort of like a first pregnancy before long, since I haven't finished a second trimester or experienced a third yet. I'm interested to see what these stages of pregnancy are like!

Occasionally this week I've felt just a little bit of round ligament pain, which is normal for this point in the pregnancy. I remember dealing with it around this time in my pregnancy with Adelyn as well. It only lasts for a few seconds, and is very mild, so I haven't been too uncomfortable. There was also a day this week after eating a meal that G laughed at me for having a little bit of a pregnancy waddle! Both of us think that I am showing more at 20 weeks with this baby than I was at 20 weeks with Addie. I certainly feel bigger this time around!

Tonight is our second Bradley birthing class, and everything is going well so far. There were a few awkward moments last week when we had to watch videos of labor and delivery, but we got through it without too much scarring! The exercises I've had to do are very low-impact, and have been really relaxing. Relaxation is a fundamental part of the Bradley method of child birthing, and I think I will see a big difference (for many reasons) between this labor and my labor with Addie. In addition to several new exercises, I've also had to keep close records of the food I eat with the goal of consuming at least 100g of protein daily. Although I did have to add a few more protein-packed snacks to my eating regimen, it hasn't been quite as challenging to meet that quota as I expected it would be.

Next Wednesday is the 20 week anatomy ultrasound with the perinatologist. He'll be examining Baby Girl closely from head to toe to check for abnormalities and take measurements. I'm curious to see what her weight and length will be. How funny would it be if I ended up with a big baby? That probably won't happen, but it's amusing to think about!

Second Pregnancy Update: 19 Weeks

19 weeks, and another shirt from Nana!

I'm happy to report (once again) no fatigue, food aversions, cravings, or nausea!

A Few Thoughts

The progesterone shots are going well, and Baby Girl's movements have become more frequent. This week especially, she's been kicking up a storm at all hours of the day!

I'm already noticing some differences between this baby and Addie that are very interesting. Addie would go crazy whenever music was played or during worship at church, and she would get still whenever the sermon would start (probably tired out from dancing). This baby doesn't seem to care about music at all yet, but she starts wiggling every time a pastor starts preaching, and frequently while we're watching movies. We're speculating that she will be a laid-back little girl who enjoys sermons (I wonder who she might be taking after)!

Tonight, G and I are starting birthing classes that will continue for 12 weeks. By the time they're over it should be close to when the cerclage comes out, so whether I go into labor quickly or continue to carry Baby Girl for a few more weeks, we should be well prepared this time. Our instructor will be teaching us the Bradley Method, and we're reading Husband-Coached Childbirth by Robert A. Bradley, MD. So far, I think it's really interesting. I'm looking forward to learning new things about child birth. Even though we haven't finished the book yet, I already highly recommend it to any woman looking for a good child birthing method.

Second Pregnancy Update: 18 Weeks - It's A...

18 Weeks, and new clothes from my Nana!

No fatigue, food aversions, cravings, or nausea to report on this week!

A Few Thoughts
I had a post-op appointment with my perinatologist on Wednesday. G remarked that the days leading up to it seemed to drag by, and it's probably because we were so excited about this particular appointment. While I had been convinced that this baby was a girl for a long time, as the day drew near I felt less confident. Wednesday arrived, and I had no "mommy vibes" leaning in either direction, and I had reached a place emotionally where I was just as eager for a boy as I was for a girl.

The ultrasound technician checked the cerclage stitches, then moved on to examine the baby. Although this wasn't the visit for the full anatomy examination, she spent a lot of time looking at each part of baby's body to make sure everything was progressing normally. I mentioned that the perinatologist said we could try and find out the sex, and she said she would do her best (though it was really up to baby whether or not we found anything out). When the time came, baby was very obliging, and the technician told us we were having a girl.

Profile (it wasn't very clear because of her angle, and because
she was wiggling a lot.

First foot.

Second foot.

Side view (sort of - she was laying in a weird position).

A girl! It's another girl!

Immediately this sense of peace and overwhelming gratitude toward God washed over me. I just laid there staring at our baby on the screen, feeling humbled. God was restoring in a special way what was lost to us last year (though I never really felt that Addie had been "lost" at all). There was also this strange sense of de-ja-vu as I remembered a similar ultrasound appointment with a different doctor not so long ago when we were also told we were having a girl. It was a sweet moment for me and G.

This baby girl in no way replaces Adelyn, but there is a unique feeling of fulfillment that accompanies this wonderful news. Addie's time is over and her purpose was fulfilled, but God has plans for this little one are yet to be known. I'm excited to see what He has in store for her! Whether she lives a long life, or whether her days with us are brief, I believe that she will bring glory to God and point others to Christ just like her big sister did.

On a funnier note, I used to be baffled by other parents who would get their children's names mixed up. I thought, "How can it be so difficult to remember their own child's name?" Well interestingly enough, I have already called this baby "Addie" a few times, even though she has her own (secret) name! It may sound sad, but G and I found it to be very humorous! Though we have decided not to reveal her name before she's born (just like with Addie), it has already proven to be a challenging task. I have come dangerously close to blurting it out accidentally many times, so we'll see how long I can make it without spilling the beans!

"Great are the works of the LORD; they are pondered by all who delight in them. Glorious and majestic are his deeds, and his righteousness endures forever. He has caused his wonders to be remembered; the LORD is gracious and compassionate." -Psalm 111:2-4

Second Pregnancy Update: 17 Weeks

17 Weeks!

This update will be short, since there isn't much to report on. Here we go!

Fatigue: Mild
It doesn't seem that the progesterone injections have any physical effect on me, but Baby has been keeping me up at night with lots of kicking. He or she appears to be somewhat of a night owl so far (taking after G). I'm not a bit sorry, though!

Food Aversions, Cravings, and Nausea: None

A Few Thoughts
Baby movements are continuing to increase, which I treasure greatly. G and I finally decided between the two girl names we had picked out, so when we [hopefully] find out whether Baby is a boy or a girl next week, we'll be able to name him or her right away (even though the name will remain a secret until the birth). Although we will both be thrilled regardless of what the baby's sex is, it will be a little bit more special if we're having another girl because it would be like God is restoring what was lost (even though He is either way). I'm getting more and more excited the closer we get to the appointment. There are also some feelings of nervousness, because I don't know what my reaction to the good news will be (emotional, overjoyed, content, etc.). Regardless, I believe that it's going to be a great day.

G gave me my weekly progesterone injection yesterday. It was my second injection, but the first one he had done. There was no doubt in my mind that everything would go smoothly, and it did. In fact, my Honey did an even better job than the nurse who injected me the first time! There was no pain and no bruising, and my body didn't react negatively at all (no flushed face, no feelings of internal coldness or heat, no dizziness) - which is something that never happens now. All those years of giving injections to livestock really paid off!

Second Pregnancy Update: 16 Weeks

16 Weeks!

Happy (late) Valentine's Day!

Fatigue: Mild
I've had a lot more energy this week!

Food Aversions: None

Cravings: None

Nausea: None

A Few Thoughts
It's been over a week since the cerclage procedure took place, and there haven't been any problems so far. We were concerned at first that one of the stitches had come loose, but found out that the perinatologist left some of the thread long on purpose to make the cerclage easy to remove later. Although I was initially a little bit sore and tired, I bounced back very quickly and now I feel great!

On Friday, G and I went into the OB's office so a nurse could show him how to administer the progesterone shots I'll be taking once a week. I was not looking forward to it at all. I have a vasovagal response to needles, which means I have to lay down when I have blood drawn or shots given to me or I will pass out. Fortunately, I have to be laying down to receive the progesterone shots anyway, so passing out isn't an issue. However, my body still reacts negatively even if I remain conscious. Typically my face will get very flushed, I will occasionally be very trembly (though that doesn't happen much now), and it feels like my blood runs cold even though my skin still feels warm. Anyway, when the nurse gave me the shot, G said my face immediately got red and blotchy, but it went back to normal after a few minutes. The experience wasn't as bad as I thought, and I'm not concerned about having to go through that every week. It did take me 30-45 minutes to feel myself again after we got home, but thankfully it doesn't look like I'm allergic to anything in the medicine. G will be giving me an injection every week until I reach 37 weeks (or until Baby is born - whichever comes first).

The baby bump was really showing on
Thursday night when G and I went to an
early Valentine's Day dinner together!

Today I registered for birthing classes with a lady who teaches The Bradley Method. The classes don't start until the 28th, but I'm really excited. These are the same classes I was getting ready to register for when I went into premature labor with Addie, and of course there was no need to take the classes then. I'm looking forward to having more laboring, breathing, and pain managing techniques to call upon when I go into labor with this baby!

Speaking of this baby, he or she has been very active this week! I've felt a couple of small movements a day for quite a while now, but over the last seven days there has been a significant increase in the frequency and intensity of baby wiggling. Baby kicks are some of the most amazing and wonderful things I've ever experienced, and not feeling them anymore was one of the hardest parts for me about losing Adelyn. God is good, and He has seen fit to bless us with that incredible feeling again. Lately, Baby White #2 has been kicking and squirming many times at all hours of the day. I don't even have to be sitting down in order to feel them! G can feel them too, and it never fails to bring a smile to both of our faces.

Second Pregnancy Update: 15 Weeks

15 Weeks, and looking quite pregnant!

This has been a very full week, and there are tons of things for me to share! I'll get to the interesting stuff in a second, but first I will go over the weekly symptoms.

Fatigue: Mild
I no longer have to take the progesterone pills now so my energy levels are higher, but I've still been sleepy in the mornings. I'm sure some of that is caused by the business of this week, so maybe I won't be quite as tired now that things are slowing down. I feel like I say that in every update, though!

Food Aversions: None
All food is like a delicious nectar sent down to me from above.

Cravings: Mild?
Yes, I know. There is that dumb question mark again. I should probably just leave it out and say that I'm having really mild cravings. From now on, no more question mark. Anyway, pasta is always a favorite, and yesterday I thought that ice cream and sweet desserts sounded pretty tasty. So far, there haven't been any full-blown I-have-to-have-this-or-I-am-going-to-stab-you-in-the-hand-with-a-fork "cravings," but lots of things sound really yummy.

Nausea: None
This was surprising because I had anesthesia in my body for a little while (I'll get to that in a minute), and have always heard that nausea is a common side-effect. I assumed I would have to deal with it, but I didn't feel sick at all!

A Few Thoughts
Earlier in the week, G and I sat down and poured over a large list of baby girl names. We have several boy names lined up that we picked out last time, but girl names have always been harder for us. It took a long time to decide on Adelyn Jane for Addie! We don't know what we're having yet, but we want the baby to have a name by the time we find out. Just like with Addie, G and I are keeping the baby's name a secret until after the birth, but we've managed to narrow down the girl's list to two full names. Hopefully we'll be able to decide on one of them soon, just in case we're having another little girl. Last time, I was certain we were having a boy. Even G thought that's what we were having, so we were both surprised to learn that Addie was a girl. This time I feel certain it's a girl, but it's probably just wishful thinking, since we didn't get to keep Addie with us. Since my "motherly intuition" clearly can't be trusted, I'm probably having a boy!

(Source)

I went into my OB's office on Tuesday to have blood drawn so that they could run some more tests on my thyroid levels. While we were there, we heard Baby's heartbeat - which was very "robust" according to my OB - and were able to ask some questions. Most of the questions I had were about labor, delivery, and birth plans. After discussing some of my hopes with her, my OB assured me that as long as Baby and I are happy and healthy at the end of the day, that's all that matters to her. After talking to her, I felt like a huge weight was lifted off of my shoulders and that any remaining stress over the labor and delivery process had disappeared. Before I ever got pregnant the first time, I did a ton of research about hospitals, birth centers, home births, standard OBs, and midwives. At the time, it seemed like anyone who talked about their hospital experience had only negative things to say. There were so many horror stories about the doctor or hospital staff being pushy or threatening if a mother wanted to opt out of certain things, or had a particular preference about her labor/delivery positions. That research led me to choose the midwives for my first pregnancy. When I switched from the midwives to a regular doctor and changed hospitals for this pregnancy, I was afraid I would constantly be at odds with my caregivers over what I felt was best for my baby. Now I know this isn't the case, and I am so grateful that the Lord directed us to this OB and the hospital we are going to use. All of the fears I had have been alleviated, and I have absolute faith in my doctor and the hospital staff to treat me respectfully and to properly care for me and Baby. In other news, my OB wants me to remain on pelvic rest until the cerclage comes out, which would be at 36 or 37 weeks. I expected this to be the case, so I'm okay with it (even though it means I'll be on pelvic rest for almost my entire pregnancy).

Thursday rolled around, and I was admitted to the outpatient facility of the hospital for the cerclage procedure. My family and I arrived a little before 10:30am, I got registered, and a little while after that I was shown back to a room to prepare for the procedure. The nurses really impressed me because they were so friendly and positive, and made every effort to make sure I was comfortable and that all of my needs were met. The anesthesiologist came in to give me the different options, and I decided to go with general anesthesia as opposed to regional anesthesia. This meant that I would be given medicine in my IV to make me go to sleep while the perinatologist installed the cerclage, rather than being injected near my spine and remaining awake, similar to an epidural. I chose this route because the recovery time was significantly less, and I honestly had no desire to watch while they stitched my cervix. I can't handle medical TV shows, so I knew I probably wouldn't be okay with watching a medical procedure being performed in real life! After the anesthesiologist left, my family came in to hang out until they took me back, and the perinatologist I've been seeing came in to say hello. He left to prepare for the procedure, and I said goodbye to my family members. Then a nurse came in and wheeled me to the operating room, where I eventually drifted off to sleep with some music playing in the background.

Side note: Why is it that medical procedures on television shows are always so quiet and intense? It's dark, except for the bright light hanging over the patient, and the doctors and nurses speak in hushed, gloomy tones. That wasn't my experience at all! The operating room they used for my procedure was bright and spacious, had upbeat music playing over the speakers, and had a very relaxed feel that really put me at ease. End side note.

When I started waking up later, I felt like I had been a sleep for a long time. To my surprise, I had only been out for about 20-25 minutes. I assumed beforehand that I would be very disoriented and unable to think clearly but even before I had fully awakened, I was thinking clearly and remembering where I was. Within a few minutes, G - who had come from work so that he could be there when I woke - and Mom were allowed to come back and see me. I felt normal, except for a little sleepiness caused by some of the anesthesia still being in my system. I also felt a bit stiff and stretched, probably because of the way I was positioned on the operating table. My nurse brought in some apple juice and graham crackers, which I was grateful for considering that I hadn't had any food or drink since Wednesday night! The perinatologist came in to check on me and said that it was good we did the cerclage procedure, since my cervix had already gotten really soft (I believe the medical term he used was "floppy"), so it seems like cervical incompetence is likely the cause of what happened with Adelyn. Based on this info, it wouldn't surprise me if I go into labor very quickly after my cerclage is removed. I guess we'll have to wait and see! The perinatologist will be doing an ultrasound at the follow-up appointment on the 25th, so I asked him if it would be possible to find out the sex of the baby. He said we could definitely do that, so if Baby cooperates, we should know whether we're having a girl or a boy in just a couple of weeks! I guess we'd better figure out those baby names.

The hospital discharged me very quickly, and I was able to go home to rest. Mom stayed the night so someone would be with me while G was at work yesterday, and we relaxed while binge-watching Fixer Upper (one of my favorite shows). I'm going to take it easy for a while, and hopefully get a good report at my post-op in two weeks. Initially I felt like I had done an intense ab workout, and that my lower abdominal muscles were sore as a result. Today, I feel quite normal again and the bleeding (which was minimal to begin with) has completely stopped. Yesterday, a nurse from the OB office called to tell me that the thyroid tests results came back and everything looked great. I was very glad to hear that, because it means I won't have to take additional medication. Perhaps getting rid of the soy products helped after all.

Feel free to share your guesses about the names we've chosen and what the sex of our baby will be!